I've done it! I've finally done it! I've discovered what my lasting contribution to society will be. What Kathy Lee will say about me when she announces my death, right before fumbling through a Waldorf Salad recipe with Jamie Oliver.
I have come up with a new punctuation mark!
Mover over, Interrobang, and make way for the Confidence Modulator(tm).
Examples of Use
Jeffery: What time does the motion picture viewing commence?
Congress: And you are confident that Saddam Hussein poses an imminent threat to the United States of America?
Donald R: Yes^?
Miriam: You've been tested, right?
Claudette: Of course.
Claudette: Two months ago^?
As you can see, the Confidence Modulator fills a need that has existed for decades, maybe even centuries^?
So, that's my new life's legacy, Diary. Now we just need to spread the word. Or the mark, as it were. People need to know about this. Especially the part where I am the one who invented it. Then I can monetize that notoriety. Big changes are coming for us, Diary.
Coming this fall: The Ellipsis of Unfortunate Realization. Perfect for when you wish to express that you have realized, mid-sentence, that what you are saying is either wrong, false, stupid, or going to blow up in your face. Represented by two periods, a colon and an open parentheses . . : ( the Ellipsis of Unfortunate Realization perfectly indicates a tone that the speaker has just realized that he or she has had a momentary lapse into idiocy.
Example of Use
Judith: Where is Fido?
Benjamin: I let him out in the backyard.
Judith: Oh, I didn't realize you already fixed the gate.
Benjamin: No, the hardware store was closed, ..:( so I haven't yet.
THE ELLIPSIS OF UNFORTUNATE REALIZATION!